The Shadow and The Soul.

Tonight, I saw a dark shadow in the caves. This shadow came to me as a reminder, playing hide and seek in the crevices and behind stalactites and stalagmites. I was being invited to a game, someone whispered. If I could catch that mist, the fog, then knowledge would be mine she promised.

I smiled. Wryly, and barely. But I smiled. Why would I want knowledge? Is a battle within the heart not enough? And I Ignored. I looked around for exit as I remembered I had been doing before the shadow went swooshing past. Touching me with her coldness and threatening me with the unknown. Oh I like the unknown. I crave for the unknown. Did she think she could have scared me?

And again, the mist went swooshing past.I could have so easily grasped her had my hands been outstretched. But they weren't. I had heard of the legend of Dr. Faustus. No, I did not intend to sell my soul. And knowledge brought suffering, it did. So I turned again, blind and fumbling, but the exit was lost.

I was not hopeless now. Hopelessness had become a way of life a long time back. Then she took pity.


"You are ignorant" said she
"I know" shot I " Even though it does not bring me to the fools paradise"

She left.

Then the shadow came to rest and spoke :
"Knowledge brings pain, and it brings you medicine so that they may be healed.
Knowledge will make you aware of the chains in which I have bound you. Yet it shall teach you how to slip out of them. "

Without darkness there can be no light.
The earth rotates.

The shadow was me. The lost soul was me. Within the globe of my heart, one half sleeps and the other acts. Then upon awakening, the sleeping half condemns the acting one as it prepares to fall asleep. They tear at each other. Carnivores, blood-thirsty, ripping apart the womb fated to encase them.

I still fumble for the exit. It still eludes me.

Comments

Meow said…
Interesting... I've never seen people putting their pain out so beautifully, diplomatically and sweetly :) Going gets tuffer each day.. I know u can :) You can come out of what u are going thru :)
NG said…
woww..this is such a deep post...
it is so well written..i loved the expression...
Madman said…
Life is a cycle people who are winning will lose and people who losing will also win.
Sayrem, hang on dear one. Your writing is beautiful and poignant. Your soul is tender and torn. Life is hard. We can make a difference where we are...our little corner of the world. There is a plan, trust and believe it. Although we would like to right every wrong and save the world we must start where we are...Mother Teresa once said..."We can do no great things only small things with great love..." {}internet hug
sayrem said…
@ mops.
no truer,wiser and more healing words have been spoken.
*hugs back*
Thinking and praying for you dear one. You are not alone...

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